Hide & Seek
by CLAMP-yuuko
Summary: KuroxFai. Kurogane is the leader of one of the biggest companies in Tokyo. Fai works in the dusty archives of the same building. Fai claims they have met before but Kurogane says he can't remember. Fai has to decide what happiness means for him.


Hide & Seek

1

_You are new to me. Not in the sense that I haven't see you before, but because I haven't seen the 'true' you. I have seen your eyes but not the depth behind them. I have seen your mouth but not true words uttered by it. I have seen you but not had the pleasure of thouching you, I wonder how you feel beneath my fingers..._

It was one of those lovely days that are almost picture perfect. The air smelled fresh of leaves and grass, the sound of the breeze sweeping over the summer scene. And of course, on a day like this, Kurogane was busy with things that could not anything but irritate him. His fustration was heard over the entire neightboorhood as he stamped over the lawn towards the gate his hearth beating at his temple. Because of a moron that was soon to be fired he had to drag himself all the way back to the office and he was not happy about it. It was hot, boiling hot, and Kurogane was sure the heat would eventually take him out if he was forced out from his home at all times of day just because of some idiot who could not do his job.

The office-building was tall, actually one of the tallest in the area and thus belonged to one of the most influencual companies in Tokyo. He walked on with steps of autority as a man of his position is expected to do. He arrived at the elevator and pushed the topfloor buttom. He arrived with a 'pling' and when the doors slid open he found his office remarkable empty. He sat down in his familiar chair and looked out one of the panorama windows portraying the busy streets of the city in all it's blatant chaos. He could neither make out the people walking the streets nor the brands of the many cars crowding the streets, and he liked it that way. They were sort of seperated from him, this was his world and down there was their's.

"Uhm, Kurogane-san?" a female voice said shyly.

Kurogane jumped out from his thoughts and turned his chair around to see who his intruder was. "Oh, it's you...," He wanted to scream at her for her uncapasity to do her job but found out he couldn't. The poor girl was practically shaking and clutched her papers with such strenght her hands were turning red. "You haven't sent the papers you were supposed to," he said with a fake calmness but it was enough to reasure the girl who stopped shivering.

"I'm so sorry," she said sobbing.

"That's fine, but were are they?"

"Downstairs in the archives," she said wiping away her tears. "I'll go get them right away if it's not too late to send them."

"No, that's ok," Kurogane said eager to send her home and escape her tears, he was never too good with feelings. "I'll go get them myself."

The ride from the top floor to the archives in the cellar took about 15 minutes and because of the lack of aircondition in the lift the trip was extremly distressing. He arrived at the bottom with a headache that treatened to blow off his head and with an urge to take of his shirt that had started to cling to his damp body, not a good starting point for a meeting that was soon to take place. He looked around the lowly lit room fists unawaredly clenched. The shelves was covered with months of dust and the floor likewise. He made his way around a corner lost when he saw something move in the darkest corner of the room.

"Am I paying you to sleep?" Kurogane said kicking the chair the other man was sitting on making the chair, previously leaned against the wall, tip forward with a crash. The man jumped up bewildered rearanging his glasses.

"I'm sorry," the man said brushing breadcrumbs from his shirt and with an earnest attempt tried to make his messy blond hair less messy.

"Are you in charge of the archives?" Kurogane was starting to doubt the man capable of being in charge of anything and played with the thought of kicking his skinny butt out of the firm him when the other man started to gather some papers and with a selvassured voice said:

"Yes, don't you remember me?"

"Can't say I do."

"Too bad, I remember you very well." Kurogane couldn't help but feel ashamed which in turn made him feel more ashamed.

"I need some papers that my secretary forgot to send," he said focusing on the reason for his visit.

"I have lots of papers here," Fai smiled. "You have to tell me a bit more about which papers you want." Kurogane could not help but feel a taint of mocking in the other man's voice and he felt a slight anger rising in his chest. He told him which papers he sought and the blond dissapeared behind some bookshelves.

"I'm Fai by the way." Again that sinking feeling of shame formed in Kurogane's stomach. Why couldn't he remember Fai when Fai apperently knew _him _so well?

After some noisy seeking behind his bookshelf Fai returned with a stack of papers in his hands his glasses again ascew. Kurogane recieved them with pleasure ready to get back up to his office. Fai gave one final smile before walking back to his chair and table under the dusty light-bulb and sat down adjusting his glasses yet again. Somehow Kurogane couldn't manage his feet, they were stuck to the ground just as his eyes was stuck on Fai. The blond had already closed his eyes, tipped the chair back into position and put his feet on the table ready to take a nap. Kurogane as the strict boss he was was enraged. How dared he do that? Especially when he knew Kurogane was watching? But still as he watched Fai sitting there apperantly faking a deep sleep he could not help himself but feel entralled by the rythmic movements of Fai's chest. He probably spent all his days in this dusty cellar finding papers no and then but otherwise snorring away his life and, judging by the blond's slightly sad expression, sorrows. He looked strained, like faking his sleep he would fake a harmonic self. On the outside and seen by shallow eyes he looked like one content of his secluded life, happy of all his circumstances, all his deeds done and undone. But by Kurogane's eyes he was someone else, but exactly who was still hidden for his perceptive eyes.

"Still staring at me aren't you?" the blond suddenly said making Kurogane jump ever so slightly.

"Uhm."

"Oh my, are we blushing?" Fai had now opened his eyes, armes across chest.

"Who the hell is blushing!" he snarled back turning around more than happy to leave wondering if the heavy beating of his heart was a warning for a comming heart-attack. "Shut-up and do some productive work!"

"Wonder what you mean about productive...," Fai said with a voice Kurogane didn't like the sound of one bit. It sounded like the man was up to michief.

"I mean the dust! Have it ever occured to you to dust this damn place!" Kurogane turned back around with eyes as heard as steel.

Over the next months Kurogane continued his life as normal. The one thing out of the ordinary was the lack of mistakes done by his secretary. After her last mistake she appeared a lot more reluctant to make any fault that could rise anger with her boss. And it could also be taken into account that the strange thing did not make Kurogane especially happy. All papers was in order, everything that needed to be sent was sent and there was no reason for him to return to the archives. He had though, every morning since the boiling hot summer day glanced out of his panoramic window is search for the blond although he knew he would not regognize him from so far below. He had also, although flustered and red, gone down to the reception desk and ask if Fai had arrived. The woman at the desk's answer was always a polite 'no' and Kurogane would go on thinking that Fai was either skipping work or never leaving the archives, both alternatives equally bad. If he didn't go to work at all he was currently paying a salary for work that was not done and if he never left that dusty place it would be bad for his health. He cursed himself for the last reasoning. Then one day, when he had done all his duties at work and was making himself ready for going home early he decided he had no choice. He had to go to him. It was like a barbaric game of Hide and Seek and he was the one seeking; Fai the one hiding. He took the elevator down, the minutes of waiting inside making his hands swet. He was nervous. The elevator's door slid open and he stepped outside; the cool air of the archives blowing a refreshing breezen across his slightly red face. Fai was not sitting at his chair, it stood steady on all for legs by the wooden table. The light was off making it hard to see. He walked over to the wooden table and upon placing his hands on the surface it was as if he could feel Fai's presence still there. He was in the room.

"Want to steal my chair?" a voice said overly chearfully.

"You are here?"

"You knew that already didn't you," Fai said his voice unmistakeably tainted with something other than fake tones.

"I guess I did," Kurogane paused. "I see you haven't dusted yet..."

"Hmm," Fai knew this was not his reason for him coming down there.

"Why are you hiding down here?"

"Hiding?"

"And why do you not ever leave this place?"

"I leave it."

"Where do you go?" Kurogane asked feeling the air around them thicken. Fai smiled in a fashion clearly stating he was not going to answer. Kurogane sighed. "If you are hiding it has to be because you want to be found."

"And if I am found it has to be because someone wants to seek," Fai's smile faltered, slid just under the surface of his skin and instead a twilight took hold of his face. It was not happy or sad, it was not entriqued or bored. It was a face of someone who tried to be neutral. Not anything of importance to anything. Not anything more than flesh taking space, totally and utterly unintresting.

"I see you," Kurogane said looking down, he felt his cheeks burning. "I don't know why you are like you are but you can't hide the fact that you appear as everything else than you. I can tell but soon you can't tell yourself anymore."

"You came down here just to find me?" hope was taking over his fake outeriour despite his will self-consciously ignoring the other man's previous question.

"There isn't much here. Just papers and you."

"Then what papers should I find for you?"

"Moron."

"That I am," Fai looked away.

"Well then," Kurogane gave up. He didn't even know why he was there. He didn't know why he tried to reason with a guy he had just met once before; twice but he could not remember. As the word 'why' swirled around in his head he felt a hand thouch his arm. He looked up and saw it was Fai. Who else could it be? They were alone in the room but still he was surprised.

"You don't remember me but I remember you," he said still looking down. "I want you to remember me."

With quick movements Fai pulled Kurogane's arm, turned him around so that they were face to face. Then he looked up and just for the seconds the connection between their eyes lasted Kurogane was able to see the person he sought. Despite the water in his eyes he was able to see beyond their deep blue and see Fai as he was. The real Fai. A tormented, longing Fai, one who is now found not lost. Then, as the water started to riple down his cheeks Fai leaned in, stretching upwards, kissing Kurogane's mouth with salty lips, eyes closed to the world. The moment lasted like an enternity as most kisses between people who truly love eachother do. And although Kurogane ran from the room right after enternity passed and Fai was left alone not rightfully content with this one kiss it was as he had said earlier: The moron who thought he would never be found or rememered and the seeker who thought he could always be on the other side seperated from others, they both would not forget what it was like to be seen for the first time. Kurogane would never know that the hot summer day was the first time he had ever seen Fai because Fai would never tell he was the one who saw Kurogane, hiding from his eyes. And Kurogane being what he was months ago was not able to find what he was looking for, not yet anyway.

Comments: My first fanfiction in months, almost a year I guess. I've been on a hiatus for what seems like an enternity and for that I am sorry. I very sorry I haven't continued the fics I should have when I should have. Life took a sharp turn and I could not write as much as I wanted anymore, at some times not at all. But now, as examns are over and the summer holidays are on the doorstep I will make sure to update more often which might be a pain for others but hopefully it will be something good for others. I really hope you enjoyed reading this! Personally I'm not satisfyed with it but first time has to be a first time so let's make this the first of many fics to come this year. And fandom-wise I'm stilling waiting for Kurogane and Fai's wedding;) Bye for now


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